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King Joffrey was the self-proclaimed Hipster King ever since before being a hipster was cool. He also held the Iron Throne during the first three or so years of the War of the Five Kings.


Early life

Joffrey was born the oldest son of King Robert Baratheon and his wife, Cersei Lannister. In what could only possibly be a miracle, Joffrey was the first blonde Baratheon in thousands of thousadnds of thouasadns of thoasudands of yeers (everybody before him had black hair). This of course made Joffrey very,very sepcial, and set the president for his journey to becoming a hipster.

In childhood, Joffrey was always fond of cute little critters, especially cats and doggies. He especially loved kittens; in fact, he loved them so much that one day he sliced a pregnant cat open just so he can pet the cute little kitty fetuses inside of her. They were sooooo cute!!!

Hipster Coronation

As Joffrey got older, he learned about all the other kings before him and realized how they all the best kings did similar shit to keep the Seven Kingdoms in line. It was also around this time that Joffrey began going into his hipster phase ass he neared puberty. And thus, Joffrey decided he would be a differnt king than all other kings before him, and he became....TEH HIPSTER KING!!!!!!!!!!

Early Reign

Ascending to the Iron Throne


Deep down inside, King Joffrey is actually a very nice kid. However, he also aspires to be a king like no other before, hence why he calls himself the Hipster King. As the Hipster King, Joffrey intentionally and successfully behaves like no other king ever would: by being a sheer asshole to everyone and bitching about shit until he gets what he wants. In addition, being a king requires having bravery and courage in the face of battle, but that is waaaaaaaaaayyyyy too mainstream for an individualistic person such as King Joffrey. Instead of facing his problems head-on, King Joffrey takes the hipster route by pussying out and tattle-tailing to his mother and making the Hound do his shit for him.

Powers and abilities

To be added.

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